A GIFT FOR ME

This caturday I am the luckiest cat in England! I have been given a gift from my human pals, they’ve only gone and got me my own personal drinking fountain! Not only that but I also got a wonderful new box that the fountain came in. 

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MY VALENTINE’S NON-DATE

If you read my last post you would know that I am not a fan of the human custom known as ‘Valentine’s Day’. Myself and my friend Gyspy had decided to have a non-date, we planned that it would be very un-romantic and that we would have fun in celebration of our single freedom and our love of ourselves as marvelous cats! The humans may think that we are egotistical but it is not in a cats true nature to have low self esteem, we are proud beings and we aren’t afraid to admit how purrfect we are!

Previously Gypsy and I have ventured to the realms of being ‘more than friends’, in the past Gypsy had declared that she loved me and we have been on a date together but then she decided she just wanted to be friends and after talking about it we both decided that we are happier being single cats.  However, the non-date didn’t exactly go as planned, and I will let you all in on a few secrets later on but for now I am getting ahead of myself, let me tell you what happened from the beginning of our non-date.

First of all Gyspy came straight into my house and scoffed all of my food! I was not pleased! But I suppose it was in keeping with the un- romantic theme, however, I thought she went a little too far!

Greedy Gypsy!
Greedy Gypsy!

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Oh the horror on my face as Gypsy scoffs my food!
Oh the horror on my face as Gypsy scoffs my food!

Then after she finished scoffing my food she rudely stuck her tongue out at me!

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Just when I thought she couldn’t get any ruder she turned her back on me and ignored me when I tried to start a conversation!

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So I decided enough was enough and so I chased her into the wardrobe and batted her every time she tried to come out! That taught her a lesson! Hopefully she’ll never scoff my food again!

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Then I chased her into my cat tunnels and I wouldn’t let her come out! 

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Next one of my human house mates came along and started playing with us so I stopped being horrible and we all played together.

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Now then, here is a secret that I would like to share but whatever you do you must not let Gypsy know of this! Even after all of the rude and awful things that Gypsy had done and the horrible way that I had retaliated, there was a moment when I looked through my tunnel at her and my heart skipped a beat! Was it that I still do have feelings for Gypsy or was it perhaps just that stunning new purple collar she was wearing!?

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After we had played for a while we went into the living room and the humans gave us some treats. We sniffed around and Gypsy left her scent around the room, this did not please me

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I kept a close eye on Gypsy at all times as she was being most displeasing!

I kept a close eye on Gypsy at all times as she was being most displeasing!
I kept a close eye on Gypsy at all times as she was being most displeasing!

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Then it happened again, another moment when I looked at Gypsy and went weak at the paws and I was lost for purrs! 

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I decided it best I ask her to leave immediately as I was starting to feel very confused! At one point I even thought to myself ‘if only this was a real date’! For yowling out loud why does she have this affect on me! I think it best I stay in on my own for a while and avoid Gypsy until these funny feeling go away, I will not let myself fall in love as I am much better off free and single. Anyway, she always scoffs my food and I could not put up with that all of the time! 

So that’s about all I have to tell about my very confusing non-date! Now I must go and nap as this has been a very tiring day!

TIPS FOR ACHIEVING A PURRFECT LIFE

Many of my friends have requested that I write a post about how to live a happy and fulfilling life as I am quite wise and knowledgeable on the subject. So here are my top six tips for living in purrfect harmony.
 
1. A contented cat is a happy cat so learn to be content with what you have in life. It does no good to be yearning for this or that or to be always looking at others and thinking that they have a better life than you or more treats or a bigger garden, thinking like this will only make you miserable! Although, this is not to say that one must make do with what one has and not strive for more, but if you have a dream then you won’t achieve it without first appreciating what you have now in the present and being content. Many cats make the mistake of thinking that if they are content they won’t strive for better, this belief holds no truth and only hinders the journey towards a better life.
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2. Do not allow yourself to be a greedy cat. Feline obesity is on the rise and for yowling out loud do you really want to be confined to the house, unable to chase a ball or climb a wall? Do you want to have rolls and rolls of excess flab to lick clean (that’s if you can even reach it)? If you are a sensible cat your answer to my questions will be no! However, I see too many cats scoffing their faces and over eating, well if you are one of them I urge you to stop before it is too late! Don’t waste your life by becoming obese!
No not my food!

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3. Keep your pride and self respect intact at all times. Cats are a rather unique species; we are the most proud and self respecting of all the animals in the animal kingdom. We take time to clean ourselves and purrfect our look, we walk and move with eloquence and grace, with our heads held high. However, there are some cats who insist on rebelling against their feline nature, they seldom clean themselves and some even allow the humans to bathe them! Like dogs, some cats pander to human desires- using human lavatories, wearing leads and letting the humans dress them like dolls! They make the rest of us cats look bad and they destroy their own self respect! I find it disgusting and demoralising!
I always carry myself with pride!

I always carry myself with pride!

 
 
4. Learn to love yourself. It is important that you love yourself, if you can’t do this then you will find it impossible to love somebody else. Some cats feel ugly and worthless because they don’t look like the cats on the cat food adverts or in the films, what these cats must realise is that every cat is beautiful in their own unique way. Each day I study my own reflection in the window and I concentrate on my best feature and I repeat the mantra ‘you are a purrfect cat, with a pawsome personality, gorgeous silky fur and striking eyes’, then I tell myself ‘I love you’. I find that this helps me to keep my self esteem and confidence high.
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5. If in doubt have a nap. I have come across many a cat suffering from stress and anxiety because they are worrying or are doubting something. I always tell cats in this situation to go and have a nap and then everything will be better when they wake up. They will wake refreshed with an ability to think clearly about their problem. This advice has never failed yet!
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6. Share a thought for the strays. Not all cats are lucky enough to have a forever home, many live their life on the streets without comfort or the assurance that they will be regularly fed. Be kind and leave the strays some of your food or invite them to visit your home for a nap.
Not all of us are lucky enough to have a dependable human to hug.

Not all of us are lucky enough to have a dependable human to hug.

TIME WITH MY PAW PALS

This weekend I have been spending some time with some of my paw pals. First of all yesterday I had a visit from Smokey, he ate some of my food (which I was not pleased about!) and then we played a game of hide and seek and I won! 

Hello Morris! Hello Smokey!
Hello Morris! Hello Smokey!
No not my food!
No not my food!
Smokey will never find me in here!
Smokey will never find me in here!
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, coming ready or not!
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, coming ready or not!
I wonder where Morris is hiding?

I wonder where Morris is hiding?

Could Morris be behind the radiator?
Could Morris be behind the radiator?
I just don't know where Morris could be!
I just don’t know where Morris could be!

Last night while I was out and about I bumped into my friend Gypsy. We talked about what has happened between us in the past few weeks after our date and both of us agreed that we are happy just being paw pals rather than girlfriend and boyfriend. I invited her into my house as it was quite cold. We hunted around the house for some treats with no luck but then luckily my male human gave us some treats. It was pawsome to see Gypsy again and I am glad that we can still be good paw pals 🙂

Hello humans can we have treats please?!
Hello humans can we have treats please?!
No Gypsy, there's no treats in there!
No Gypsy, there’s no treats in there!
Are there any treats in the bathroom?
Are there any treats in the bathroom?
No treats here :(
No treats here 😦
There's no treats in this bucket of paper recycling :(
There’s no treats in this bucket of paper recycling 😦
Hmm, let me think, where could those treats be?
Hmm, let me think, where could those treats be?
Is that the treat box rattling that I can hear!
Is that the treat box rattling that I can hear!
Yes give us the treats, NOW!
Yes give us the treats, NOW!
Goodbye Morris, I'm going back outside through the cat flap.
Goodbye Morris, I’m going back outside through the cat flap.
Ok I'll show you out and make sure you're safe.
Ok I’ll show you out and make sure you’re safe.

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Today I relaxed and watched the humans, dogs and cats out of my window, then I went outside and visited some of my human friends and patrolled my territory. The weather was very nice today here in Kent.

I hope that you all had a lovely weekend too!

There's nothing better than looking through the window on a lazy Sunday morning!
There’s nothing better than looking through the window on a lazy Sunday morning!

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Back through the cat flap for more adventures!
Back through the cat flap for more adventures!

GET THE VIOLINS OUT…

Today started off as a very sad Caturday 😦 It started last night when my best friend Smokey who lives next door came to my house to see me.

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Smokey had come to me with a message from Gypsy, the lovely lady cat with whom I had enjoyed a romantic date with last Caturday. Smokey informed me that Gypsy does not want another date with me as she is not yet ready for a relationship and just wants to stay friends, she had said that it’s not me it’s her that is the problem. I wonder what she means?! perhaps she has a hygiene problem or a catnip addiction! I didn’t get the impression that she had a problem but some cats can surprise you with these things as we are very secretive in nature. 

Today I decided there was only one thing to do in a heart break situation and that was to get the violin out, and play pizzicato with my teeth! 

And on violin today we have the one and only Morris the cat!
And on violin today we have the one and only Morris the cat!

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I had such fun it took my mind of my broken heart and helped me to see sense. I don’t want a relationship, I’m a free and independent spirit! I like being a lone ranger and doing my own thing, I was stupid to even consider the idea, so it is a good thing that Gyspy does not want another date 🙂 

So I spent the rest of my Caturday playing and having fun like the brilliant bachelor I am! 

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